How to Stay Relevant as an Engineering Leader While Empowering Others

Adjusting the way you empower based on 6 personality types is key!

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This week’s newsletter is sponsored by DX.

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• Common patterns: Why most companies track speed, quality, and maintainability alongside AI usage.

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Intro

I’ve defined in the previous article called: This Is Holding Most Engineers Back from Lead Roles, that trusting and empowering others is one of the hardest mindset shifts engineers need to make in order to grow to lead roles.

FROM: How can I be the best in my craft?
TO: How can I help others to be the best at their craft?

And having a good balance is key here!

You can’t just completely let everything go, and you also shouldn’t be in all the fine details and risk being a micromanager.

Lucky for us, we have Djordje Mladenovic with us today. He is sharing how to find that balance in today’s article.

There are a lot of great details in this article, so it’s worth storing it and referring back to when needed, especially:

• 6 different personality types, how to identify individuals + how to empower and motivate people based on their personality type

• 4-step EQ Empowerment Framework that you can use

• Real-world cases on how you can empower your people successfully based on their personality type

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Introducing Djordje Mladenovic

Djordje Mladenovic is a leadership coach and Senior Engineering Manager with 15+ years in tech and over a decade leading teams.

He’s coached 30+ engineering leaders to grow their emotional intelligence, navigate tough leadership moments, and lead with confidence.

He is also an author of The Chronicles of a High-EQ Leader → a weekly newsletter filled with various frameworks and insights on EQ.

This is our second collab with Djordje, you can check the first one here:

How Engineering Leaders Stay Calm and Effective When It Gets Personal

Let’s get started!

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Every Leader Should Be Creating Leaders

One of the biggest responsibilities of a leader is to create other leaders. We’re taught to give our people more ownership, trust them to make decisions, and help them grow.

But here’s the hidden paradox:

The more you empower your team, the less visible you can start to feel.

You might catch yourself thinking:

• “If my team can operate without me, am I still adding value?”

• “If I step back, how do I stay relevant to my company and leadership peers?”

• “How do I give them space to shine without fading into the background myself?”

This tension is real, and it often pushes leaders into two unhelpful extremes:

1. Micromanaging to stay “in control”: You review every decision, insert yourself into every detail, and end up slowing your team down.

2. Disappearing to “let them lead”: You step back too far, thinking you’re empowering them, but risk becoming invisible or disconnected.

Neither extreme works.

The real challenge is finding the balance: how to empower others while staying relevant as a leader.

Because leadership isn’t about doing less. It’s about creating space for others to grow, while showing up where you add the most value.

The EQ Side of Empowerment

Empowering people isn’t just a leadership tactic → It’s an emotional shift that challenges how many of us define our value as leaders.

Most engineering leaders grow into leadership roles after years of being individual contributors.

Our careers are built on technical expertise, hands-on problem-solving, and personal delivery. Naturally, we learn to measure our worth by what we produce.

But when you step into leadership, that changes. Suddenly, your success is no longer tied to what you deliver personally → it’s tied to what your people deliver through you.

That transition sounds simple on paper, but feels deeply personal in practice. It can trigger a range of fears:

• Fear of losing control: “If I don’t review everything, what if we make a mistake?”

• Fear of becoming invisible: “If the team can operate without me, will anyone notice my contribution?”

• Fear of losing identity: “I used to be the expert. If I’m no longer hands-on, who am I now?”

These fears are normal. They happen because empowerment challenges one of our core needs as leaders → the need to feel relevant.

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

Empowerment isn’t just about delegating tasks. It’s about how you make people feel when you give them ownership. This is where emotional intelligence becomes critical:

1. Self-awareness

You need to understand your own triggers. Do you step in because the team truly needs support, or because it feels uncomfortable to let go?

2. Empathy

Not everyone experiences empowerment the same way. Some team members thrive on full autonomy, while others freeze without guidance. Treating them all the same doesn’t work.

3. Relationship management

Your relevance as a leader isn’t defined by how many tasks you control but by the trust you build. When people know you have their back, they seek your input naturally → you don’t have to fight to stay involved.

What Happens Without EQ

Leaders who struggle with emotional intelligence often fall into predictable patterns:

• Micromanaging → hovering over every decision and unintentionally sending the message “I don’t trust you.”

• Disappearing → stepping so far back that your team feels unsupported and disconnected.

Neither extreme works. The goal isn’t to do less or to do more → it’s to do the right things.

When you lead with EQ, empowerment becomes a partnership. Your people feel seen, trusted, and safe to take ownership, while you remain strategically involved where your leadership has the highest impact: setting direction, aligning priorities, and creating clarity.

This sets the stage for Process Communication Model (PCM), which takes emotional intelligence a step further by giving you a practical lens to understand what drives different personality types.

With PCM, empowerment stops being a one-size-fits-all concept and becomes personalized leadership.

Understanding PCM

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make when empowering others is assuming there’s a single right way to do it.

We often try to apply a “one-size-fits-all” approach: we give everyone the same level of autonomy, the same type of recognition, and the same kind of feedback.

But people aren’t the same.

What motivates one person might completely overwhelm another. What feels empowering to one personality type might actually create anxiety for someone else.

This is where the Process Communication Model (PCM) becomes incredibly powerful.

What PCM Is and Why It Matters

PCM is a framework originally developed by Dr. Taibi Kahler to better understand human behavior, communication styles, and intrinsic motivators. It identifies six personality types that exist in all of us to varying degrees. Each type has:

• A preferred communication style

• Core psychological needs

• Distinct stress triggers

And what actually makes them feel empowered and trusted

As leaders, understanding these patterns gives us a huge advantage → it allows us to tailor empowerment to each individual instead of assuming everyone wants the same thing.

The Six PCM Personality Types

1. The Thinker

• Motivator: Logic, structure, data

• Thrives when: Given responsibility, clear instructions, and autonomy to plan

• Empower them by: Trusting their analysis and letting them own solutions

2. The Persister

• Motivator: Values, dedication, principles

• Thrives when: Their opinions are respected and their commitment recognized

• Empower them by: Giving them influence in decision-making and acknowledging their contributions

3. The Harmonizer

• Motivator: Connection, trust, belonging

• Thrives when: They feel safe and part of a supportive environment

• Empower them by: Building relationships and showing personal appreciation

4. The Rebel

• Motivator: Fun, creativity, spontaneity

• Thrives when: They can experiment, innovate, and break routine

• Empower them by: Giving them flexibility and room to propose unconventional solutions

5. The Imaginer

• Motivator: Space, reflection, independence

• Thrives when: They have time to think deeply without interruptions

• Empower them by: Giving them time and autonomy, then checking in gently

6. The Promoter

• Motivator: Action, challenge, results

• Thrives when: They have big goals and authority to make decisions quickly

• Empower them by: Giving them ownership of high-impact initiatives and trusting them to move fast

Why PCM Changes the Empowerment Game

Once you understand what drives each personality type, empowerment stops being random → it becomes intentional and personalized.

• Some people feel empowered when you delegate responsibility.

• Others feel empowered when you invite them into decisions.

• And some feel empowered just by knowing you trust them without micromanaging.

PCM gives you the roadmap for tailoring your leadership approach based on how people are wired.

When you combine this with emotional intelligence, you unlock a much higher level of influence: you don’t just give autonomy, you give it in the way that motivates them most.

This is the foundation for our EQ Empowerment Framework → a practical, four-step process to empower people effectively without losing your own relevance as a leader.

The EQ Empowerment Framework

Empowering your team isn’t just about delegating tasks. It’s about building trust, matching autonomy to individual motivators, and staying strategically visible as a leader.

This four-step framework connects emotional intelligence with the Process Communication Model (PCM) → giving you a practical way to empower different personality types while maintaining your influence.

Step 1: Know the Person (Understand their PCM type)

Before you can empower effectively, you need to understand what drives each person:

• A Thinker thrives on ownership of planning and logical problem-solving

• A Rebel thrives on flexibility and creativity

• A Persister thrives on influence and recognition of values

• A Harmonizer thrives on connection and trust

• An Imaginer thrives on space to reflect deeply

• A Promoter thrives on action and fast decision-making

EQ Tip: Be curious before assuming. Ask, observe, and listen to understand where they shine and what energizes them.

Step 2: Match Your Empowerment Style (Tailor, don’t standardize)

Once you know their motivators, customize empowerment:

• Thinkers → Give autonomy over system design and encourage independent solutions

• Persisters → Involve them in decisions and ask for their input early

• Harmonizers → Pair empowerment with personal recognition and consistent support

• Rebels → Give space for experimentation and let them propose innovative approaches

• Imaginers → Offer clear context, then step back and give them time to process

• Promoters → Hand them high-impact, fast-moving initiatives and trust them to deliver

EQ Tip: Empowerment isn’t always about more autonomy. Sometimes it’s about giving the right kind of ownership.

Step 3: Stay Visible Without Taking Control (Strategic involvement)

Here’s where most leaders struggle: how do you empower others without fading into the background?

The answer isn’t micromanaging. It’s intentional visibility:

• Be the person who aligns priorities and gives clarity, not the one who double-checks every detail

• Set clear outcomes and agree on check-in points upfront

• Use coaching conversations to unblock your people instead of solving problems for them

EQ Tip: Your relevance comes from creating direction and removing obstacles, not controlling tasks.

Step 4: Celebrate Wins Publicly (Amplify, don’t overshadow)

Recognition builds trust, motivates your team, and importantly, keeps you visible as a leader who creates other leaders.

• Credit individuals by name in team or leadership forums

• Share your team’s wins in cross-functional channels

• Highlight your role as an enabler, not the hero

EQ Tip: When you position yourself as the leader who grows other leaders, your influence scales far beyond your direct contributions.

Why This Framework Works

• It personalizes empowerment instead of using a one-size-fits-all approach

• It keeps you strategically relevant while helping others grow

• It builds a trust-driven environment where people want your input, instead of avoiding it

In the next section, we’ll bring this to life with real-world scenarios → showing how different PCM types respond to empowerment, where leaders go wrong, and how to fix it using emotional intelligence.

Real-World Scenarios

Each story below shows how a common leadership mistake can be transformed through the EQ Empowerment Framework → using self-awareness, personality insight, and intentional empowerment to build trust and grow your team.

1. The Thinker → Empowering Through Ownership

Scenario:
Milan, a senior backend engineer, thrives on logic and structure. You assign him to lead a redesign but constantly check in and challenge his decisions, worried about mistakes.

EQ Mistake:
Micromanaging someone who craves autonomy creates frustration and slows progress.

Using the EQ Empowerment Framework:

• Know the person → Milan is a Thinker. He values being trusted to figure things out logically.

• Match empowerment style → Give him full ownership of the design plan and trust his problem-solving skills.

• Stay visible → Agree on weekly syncs to align on outcomes, not steps.

• Celebrate wins → Publicly credit his planning when the redesign goes live.

Result: Milan feels trusted, delivers faster, and you stay informed without hovering.

2. The Persister → Empowering Through Influence

Scenario:
Ana, a frontend engineer, is values-driven and speaks up about quality concerns. You dismiss her objections to meet deadlines, thinking she’s just being difficult.

EQ Mistake:
Overriding her input damages trust and signals that her values aren’t respected.

Using the EQ Empowerment Framework:

• Know the person → Ana is a Persister. She needs to feel her perspective is heard.

• Match empowerment style → Invite her to define success metrics for quality alongside deadlines.

• Stay visible → Position yourself as a sounding board for high-level tradeoffs.

• Celebrate wins → Acknowledge her role in maintaining quality during sprint reviews.

Result: Ana feels included, becomes a strong contributor, and helps the team deliver without compromising on standards.

3. The Harmonizer → Empowering Through Connection

Scenario:
Marko, a mid-level engineer, rarely speaks up and avoids taking on high-visibility tasks. You assume he lacks initiative and start assigning rigid tasks to “guide” him.

EQ Mistake:
Pushing tasks without building relational safety causes withdrawal, not growth.

Using the EQ Empowerment Framework:

• Know the person → Marko is a Harmonizer. He needs trust and emotional safety before stepping up.

• Match empowerment style → Offer gentle encouragement, pair him with a peer, and ask what support he needs to succeed.

• Stay visible → Be available as a mentor without applying pressure.

• Celebrate wins → Recognize his effort personally, and highlight his growth in 1:1s or small settings.

Result: He steps into more responsibility at his own pace, building confidence along the way.

4. The Rebel → Empowering Through Creativity

Scenario:
Jovana, a creative designer, keeps challenging the UI structure. You shut her down to “stick to the plan,” which frustrates her and kills her energy.

EQ Mistake:
Over-controlling a Rebel makes them disengaged and resistant.

Using the EQ Empowerment Framework:

• Know the person → Jovana is a Rebel. She thrives on spontaneity and creative freedom.

• Match empowerment style → Give her space to propose bold solutions within clear boundaries.

• Stay visible → Stay involved through feedback rounds rather than directives.

• Celebrate wins → Acknowledge her creativity when her ideas improve UX outcomes.

Result: Jovana feels energized, brings innovation to the project, and respects the structure because she helped shape it.

5. The Imaginer → Empowering Through Space

Scenario:
Viktor, a junior engineer, underdelivers when given open-ended work. You tighten control and give him more frequent check-ins, which only make things worse.

EQ Mistake:
Crowding an Imaginer disrupts their thinking process and amplifies anxiety.

Using the EQ Empowerment Framework:

• Know the person → Viktor is an Imaginer. He needs time alone to reflect and process.

• Match empowerment style → Give him structured tasks with clear timelines and minimal interruptions.

• Stay visible → Check in at pre-agreed points, not spontaneously.

• Celebrate wins → Quietly acknowledge his insights and reinforce his confidence through 1:1 praise.

Result: With space to think, Viktor delivers stronger solutions and gains momentum.

6. The Promoter → Empowering Through Challenge

Scenario:
Sara, a high-performing engineer, is assigned low-risk tasks to “keep things smooth.” She disengages quickly and begins missing small details.

EQ Mistake:
Under-challenging a Promoter signals that you don’t trust them with real impact.

Using the EQ Empowerment Framework:

• Know the person → Sara is a Promoter. She’s energized by action, stakes, and challenge.

• Match empowerment style → Assign her to lead a fast-moving, high-visibility initiative.

• Stay visible → Help set success criteria and remove roadblocks without slowing her down.

• Celebrate wins → Highlight her results across the org and position her as a driver of momentum.

Result: She takes full ownership, re-engages deeply, and becomes a force multiplier on the team.

Why These Stories Matter

When you combine emotional intelligence with personality-driven empowerment, leadership becomes both more personal and more effective.

✅ You stop guessing what motivates people
✅ You avoid the EQ mistakes that lead to disengagement
✅ You become the leader who creates trust, growth, and visibility → for them and for yourself

This is what the EQ Empowerment Framework is all about:

Empowering others in the way they need, while staying visible in the way that matters.

Final Word → The Relevance Paradox

Great leadership isn’t about doing more or disappearing. It’s about creating an environment where your people grow, take ownership, and shine, while you stay strategically relevant by shaping vision, creating alignment, and building trust.

When you combine emotional intelligence with the Process Communication Model (PCM), empowerment stops being a gamble and becomes a skill:

• You understand what drives different people

• You delegate in ways that actually motivate and engage

• You stay visible, not by controlling, but by enabling impact

The paradox is this: the more you empower others intentionally, the more your own influence grows.

“Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge.”
— Simon Sinek

As engineering leaders, we have a choice:

We can manage tasks and control outcomes… or we can empower people in a way that builds trust, multiplies impact, and positions us as the leader others want to follow.

Take a moment to reflect:

• Who in your team thrives on ownership?

• Who needs influence?

• Who craves space, recognition, or challenge?

Your answers will shape how you empower → and how you grow as a leader.

Last Words

Special thanks to Djordje for sharing his insights on this very important topic with us! Make sure to check him out on LinkedIn and also check out his newsletter The Chronicles of a High-EQ Leader.

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